"I don't know but let's try to find out.” Who knew 9 little words could be so freeing? It is so challenging to find the light in this time of change, vulnerability, illness, unpredictability, and loss. But believe it or not, I have actually found a small, teensy, tiny gift in all of this Coronavirus shelter-in-place experience. For perspective, I have to state that my family has been extremely lucky so far, and no one in my home is ill. I have family/friends who have been ill, but are now recovered or recovering. I acknowledge that not everyone is in that same place at this time.
Like many families we are dealing with fear, uncertainty, disconnection, loneliness, vulnerability, anger, boredom, insecurity, frustration, mourning the probable loss of the rest of the school year, banquets, awards, birthday parties, school dances, and saying goodbye to current teachers and schools. We are canceling vacations, work events that we have been dedicated to making a success, weddings, non-essential surgeries that promised pain relief, city celebrations like Pride and sporting events that are entrenched in family traditions like Indy 500. We are dealing with every typical family issue we had previous to Coronavirus, and now all the new challenges. It's hard. But as Glennon Doyle teaches us, "We can do hard things”. We can and will mourn those losses together.
So what's this gift I have sifted out of this pile of poo we've been handed? It's the gift of equal footing for all of us. Children and friends ask me "what" or "why" or "how," and the only answer I have now is "I don't know but let's try to find out". One teen said to me, "we both know the same amount about this huh?" OMG YES! WE ALL KNOW THE SAME AMOUNT! This is a rare occasion where we are all on the same page. None of us know when we will go back to school. None of us know when we can see Grandma and Grandpa in person. No one knows when we can catch Pokemon or make videos with our friends or go to Chipotle or start work again. While to some that knowledge is scary, I choose to focus on the fact that for a small minute here, we are all on equal footing. Experiencing something together that no one has experienced before is a huge opportunity for a new and special connection. My children and kiddo friends get to learn with me. There is no power structure, no hierarchy, no expectations. It's a whole new level relationship dynamic. There is something powerful about the universality of vulnerability. How often do we all get to learn something brand new to all of us at the same time? Of course, we all have our different roles to play as we learn. Some of us learn to work from home while running home schools. Some have to go to hospitals and learn to treat sick patients knowing that they place themselves at risk to do so. Some go to their grocery store jobs and make sure we all have food to eat all while developing logistics to keep us safe while we are there. Some are learning to sew so that they can make protective gear for the helpers. Some are starting groups to feed hungry folks. Some are organizing teacher car parades so that the kids can see their support people. Some are going to nursing homes and creatively giving messages to their loved ones in a care facility through a window. Some are learning about big cat zoos (wow, who knew?) Factory workers are learning to produce ventilators instead of their regular products. Very few of us are living the same lifestyle we were living 4 weeks ago. We are all vulnerable and learning and that is the gift. Take a break and look around at all the people pivoting and continuing. Stay with that awe of people, especially the young people.
I have a whole new appreciation for teachers, nurses, doctors, mortitians, families of folks who are "essential workers" who fear for the safety of their loved ones. I admire the kiddos learning to cope with situations that are devastating to the smartest and strongest of adults. My eyes are wide open, and I see you as we all learn. I see the gift of common ground and equal footing we have right at this moment in time. Thank you for being here with me.
Stay safe and healthy
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