As a general rule, I believe the best of humanity. Humans have a large capacity for love and respect and empathy. When we show the world the good we can do when we come together, those are beautiful sights to behold. We often see such acts of beauty after tragedies like harm inflicted by terrorists, natural disasters such as fires, floods, or tornados, or illnesses of a public figure. We have the capacity for such loving kindness, but we don’t always use it. When we witness others’ pain, we are usually pretty good about believing and trying to help and support their healing. But pain is a subjective concept. Humans do better when we see it, touch it, validate that it is real. Damage done to buildings, homes, or bodies are undisputed evidence of real pain. But what happens when we can’t see the damage?
Well my friends, we kind of suck at honoring others’ emotional pain. True story. We double suck at honoring group pain and community trauma. It is almost as if when we cannot see the pain someone is experiencing, it is not real. If we do not see or cannot touch scars and wounds, they are not important. Some of you know this already because you have coped with emotional pain by inflicting physical self harm to match the pain you feel inside. People who are experiencing emotional pain and trauma are often asked to justify why others should care about their pain. Even when the people who are hurting share their pain, some friends and family just do not get it. People who are hurting emotionally are often overlooked, underserved and not believed. Groups of people suffering collective trauma suffer the additional burden of having to prove that their trauma is real. Collective trauma, community trauma IS REAL. Yes, Virgina, it does exist.
Most of us are familiar with psychological trauma. Bessel van der Kolk defines trauma as ”an inescapably stressful event that overwhelms people’s existing coping mechanisms” (van der Kolk and Fisler, 1995). We also need to familiarize ourselves with the concept of community or collective trauma. We all can relate because we were all affected by COVID-19 disrupting our norms, schedules, connections to community, and rituals that define our social order. Collective trauma occurs when an event damages the ties that bind community members together. Not only are communities physically damaged by a traumatic event such as mass shootings, violence, or floods, or acts of terrorism, but the social ties that bind community members together can also be damaged. Trust can be violated. Competition for resources can create divisions. Feelings of betrayal are justified and common in these situations.
Individuals do not have to be personally injured to be impacted by collective trauma. The entire country was impacted by 9/11 even though we may not have been in the twin towers or even in Manhattan that terrible day. Jews can feel traumatized by the myriad of terrorist acts that have occurred in synagogues even though they may not have been personally present. Our brothers and sisters in the LGBTQ+ community still feel the pain and shock of the Pulse Nightclub shooting even though they may not have ever been to Orlando. Our beautiful black American friends and family are actively grieving yet another black community member killed by a police officer while they are again traumatized by the continuing problem and lack of justice. It is not only the individual victims who experience the trauma of the disastrous event; it is the whole community.
The damage inflicted by the recent fires in California, violence, and continued community conflicts with police can be viewed in the same way. We know events like these can challenge the way we think about our world, undermine our perceptions of safety, and rupture social bonds (Davey, 2020). When we feel disconnected we can fall into despair. Common feelings are shock, sadness, fear, anger, confusion, abandonment, and hopelessness. Common behavioral reactions can look like expressive or internal anger or aggressive or resistant expressions of fear. Folks can show their feelings verbally or physically, in a controlled or uncontrolled manner and in a punishing or restorative way. It is all in the realm of processing and expressing trauma.
We have a long way to go in providing recovery options for collective trauma. We know community and collective and group interventions are helpful. We know folks who have experienced a tragedy together do better when recovering with others who have also experienced the tragedy. We know more community mental health support is needed in areas that tend to experience tragedies repeatedly due to location, circumstances, or bias against the community. We know more education is needed about the validity of community trauma. We know we need to increase and provide more mental health first aid to communities along with physical first aid and emergency service responses. The biggest thing I know is we cannot truly heal any kind of trauma while the trauma continues to occur.
I want you to know that community and collective trauma is a very real issue and is evident in the pain we see every day. Humans sometimes act out their trauma by turning inward, or they may turn outward when there are no more words to say because their words have gone unheard or have been diminished. When your friends tell you about their emotional pain, believe them. If someone honors you by sharing their trauma story and they use their words to describe their pain, listen and acknowledge. You may feel uncomfortable or not know what to do and that is ok. You don't have to do or say anything but just sit there and be with the person and be a witness to their experience. Really deeply listen and learn. Do not compare pain. Do not diminish their lived experience based on your own. Help where you can if there is an action to take. Get out of the way of helpers when you are unable to provide help. Do no further harm. Let’s all try to be the best friend, neighbor, parishioner, colleague, or human we can be to each other while folks are in pain. Let’s use our loving qualities to protect people from further pain. Like I said at the beginning, I know humans have the capacity to be great with love and respect, and honor. Let's meet our true potential together.
*Alexa Griffith, LMHC, LCAC, NCC, RPT is a licensed mental health therapist. Alexa enjoys providing individual counseling and family counseling. She also provides play therapy for children, as well as teen and adolescent counseling via telehealth or in office.
Alexa's practice serves the Indianapolis area, including Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield. Learn more @ alexagtherapy.com
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