“Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go..I wanna be sedated. Nothing to do nowhere to go- oh…” -Ramones
Y’all. It’s been a different kind of year for all of us. The I Want To Be Sedated GenX punk anthem is REAL. In 1978 The Ramones knew we would all agree, “Just get me to the airport, put me on a plane! Hurry, hurry, hurry before I go insane“. What did they know and when did they know it is all I want to know.
We are all ready for the extra stress to end. We have lost friends, loved ones, freedom, our typical way of life, employment, businesses, housing, travel plans, going to school, living in dorms, treasured holiday traditions, and more. We are still grieving our losses and learning how to keep ourselves and communities as safe and healthy as possible while helping keep local businesses afloat, stay employed, and educate our kiddos. Rockstars from the world of science, public health, epidemiology, medicine, education, and essential workers have emerged and deserve all the accolades. But I bet every one of the heroes are ready for this all to be over too. Heroes get tired.
Unfortunately, though, the world woes will not be evaporating into the ether January 1, 2021. Hospitals will be full for a while, schools will be e-learning or hybrid for a while longer, nor will we be traveling anytime soon. The good news is, we don’t have to bring all the extra self-imposed stress into the new year. There are enough unfortunate circumstances to keep us on our toes, we do not need to carry unhelpful anxieties, habits that do not serve us, ways of thinking that hold us back, drawing stubborn lines in the sand that are not helpful or healthy into the next chapter of our lives.
I do not presume to tell anyone how to proceed with their lives. That said, I will warn you, my friend, that the diet industry, beauty industry, gyms, snake oil salespeople, and divorce attorneys (January 4th, 2021 is “divorce day”) are primed and ready for you to succumb to the traditions of promised changes in eating, movement, spending, loving, etc. If you do New Year resolutions and they are helpful to you, awesome! Keep it up! If you set yearly intentions, and it serves you, awesome! Do it again! If you chose a “word of the year” and it helps you focus and be intentional, GET IT! And if you don’t; or you believe New Year is a construct or resolutions don’t help you and make you feel badly for not reaching them, skip it. You are likely a smart person, and you know in your mind and heart what is best for you.
I like to use the break in action at this time of year as a time to reflect on the past year and assess my gains and losses in terms of mental and spiritual load. I use it as a time to evaluate what has served me well, what has not, and what I still need. 2020 has given me the gift of perspective, personal experiences that allow me to have more empathy for others, time to learn more about my craft, learn a whole new way to provide therapy for folks who I cannot see in person, and remember who I am as a whole person, not just a mother.
Some sh*t from 2020 I will intentionally take with me to 2021:
-Continue to learn to rest
-Wear a mask and keep 6 feet physical distance from folks until we are safer
-Patience for my children as they negotiate e-learning
-Asking for help when I need it
-Actually, allowing others to help me when I ask for it
-Letting go of rigid thinking
-Humming and tapping for calming anxiety
-Intentionally shopping local small businesses who have worked hard to keep their patrons and employees safe
-Daily grounding baths with Dr. Teal’s Calm Your Mind soaking solution or Hemp Seed oil (smells amazing)
-Continuing the healthy habits that have served me well
-Intentional gratitude
Some sh*t I will leave right here in this moment:
-Straying from my boundaries to please others
-Doom scrolling
-Sugar binges
-Hand sanitizer that smells like Tequila
-Being afraid of running out of toilet paper
-Feeling badly about saying no to events and family in order to protect my family’s health
-Avoiding discomfort at the risk of personal growth
-Worrying my kids are “falling behind” in school
What I am encouraging you to do is trust yourself that you will keep what works and let go of what doesn’t in whatever timeframe works best for you. If you want to start today, January 1, or spring equinox, do it. If you have nothing to change, just keep being awesome. But what ever you do, do it because you want to and in your own time.
Happy New Year
*Alexa Griffith, LMHC, LCAC, NCC, RPT is a Licensed Mental Health Therapist in Carmel, Indiana. Alexa enjoys providing individual counseling and family counseling. She also provides play therapy for children, as well as teen and adolescent counseling via telehealth or in office. Alexa's practice serves the Indianapolis area, including Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield. Learn more at AlexaGTherapy.com
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