Narcissuses was a character from Greek mythology who could not look away from his own reflection. He fell in love with his reflection in a pool of water. He could not even be deterred from his own reflection even by a beautiful nymph. But most of us mortals do not get the dopamine hit that Narcissuses felt when we look in the mirror. Now that we are all staring at our own faces all day on video conferencing, it is actually causing problems.
In the days before Coronavirus, I could go hours without seeing my own face. It could be possible for me to have spinach in my teeth and a visible booger for the majority of a day and never even notice. A long time ago I realized that I am a happier person when I stay off the scale and out of the mirror. I check the mirror in the morning before I leave the house or if I feel something in my teeth, but I really try to avoid my reflection. I even avoid Facetime. The fewer times I look in the mirror, the less I obsess over issues I cannot control. My self-image and confidence improved when I stopped over-analyzing every line, zit (yes, we can have both wrinkles and pimples at the same time, which is straight hogwash) puffy eye bag, or new gray hair. I put on lipstick without a mirror. I don't have a compact in my purse. When I wash my hands in the bathroom, I'm not really looking at my reflection. It makes my headspace a lot kinder. But then, March 2020 came. Lockdown brought Zoom to my life.
Now I’m not ripping on Zoom. I love that it allows me to stay connected to clients and provide counseling services through the lockdown. I still use telehealth daily to provide counseling services to clients who cannot make it into the office or choose to minimize their own exposure. I value the service. But like every situation, there are positives and negatives. Suddenly I was staring at my reflection for hours every day. Even if we minimize the selfie screen, it’s there. I noticed that I started buying new makeup. I fussed with lighting to try to show up clearer and brighter in zoom sessions. Since I never really watched myself talk so much, I never paid attention to some features that were now in my face every day. I looked up video filters. I noticed myself becoming super critical of my appearance. Then I read that I’m not alone.
Google searches for cosmetic surgery have increased. Plastic surgeons can’t keep up with demand. Fillers and Botox appointments are booked solid for months out. My own personal aesthetician stopped taking new patients for the rest of the year. So much demand for self-image improvements all around! Now, I am not bashing cosmetic surgery. Folks do what they need to do to feel amazing and to look their best. Tweakments are a valued commodity and provide relief for many folks about body features that they would like to have altered. But why has the demand increased so much since elective surgeries have been cleared?
For some of us, it's an exacerbation of a current mental health condition called Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) a condition that causes an obsession with perceived physical flaws. Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is a DSM-IV disorder that is characterized by a distressing or impairing preoccupation with slight or imagined defect(s) in one's physical appearance (Dialogues Clin Neurosci v.12(2); 2010 Jun.) These thoughts are not just passing thoughts of disdain for our thigh dimples or gap in our smile or irritation at our lopsided ear. The intrusive negative thoughts become obsessions and hyperfocused on perceived flaws to the point where our daily living is impacted. Even if you do not have BDD, but are susceptible to negative self-image and critical self-talk, the stress of the pandemic may push the onset onto you.
Body Dysmorphic Disorder affects 1.7% to 2.9% of the general population — about 1 in 50 people. This means that more than 5 million people to nearly 10 million people in the United States alone have BDD. It’s possible that BDD may even be more common than this because people with this disorder are often reluctant to reveal their BDD symptoms to others (International OCD Foundation.) It is a spectrum disorder, meaning that although people who experience it can share feelings of shame, self-loathing and emotional distress over nonexistent or minimal defects, their BDD can manifest to different degrees. Some may be dealing with BDD so severe that they are unable to integrate into society to the extent they’d like. Others are relatively high-functioning, despite living with overwhelming repetitive thoughts and behaviors, and are able to sustain relationships and employment, according to experts (Gwen Aviles, 2020). These statistics and definitions do not begin to address racism, internalized racism, colorism, or cultural-specific concerns that lend to BDD for people of color based out of white patriarchal colonial standards of beauty.
Now BDD did not creep up during the pandemic, but being stuck at home with mirrors and hours on Zoom type calls, and more time to be on social media with its plethora of unrealistic body images is not helping at all. There are some resources to help when you feel like your negative body images are taking over your thoughts and interfering with your finances or your life.
Limit the amount of time you spend on social media. You already know Insta and Tik Tok and Snapchat are full of filters and photoshopped images of bodies. It's not a good place for you to hang out while you are struggling with BDD.
If you have to be on video calls, features like “turn off camera” are your friend. If you cannot turn off your camera, use the “hide my video” feature. I use this in sessions so I can concentrate on my clients and not myself. Just right-click your video to display the menu, then choose Hide Myself. You no longer see the video of yourself, even though others in the meeting can see the video of you.
Engage in mindfulness meditation and deep breathing exercises to reduce stress and anxiety around body image.
Join a support group with others who struggle with BDD.
Seek professional help from a therapist who provides Cognitive Behavior Therapy and Exposure and Response Prevention.
As always, if you have any questions about BDD or feel overwhelmed by your concerns about your body image issues, please contact me. I am here to help you catch the peace of mind that you deserve.
Alexa Griffith, LMHC, LCAC, NCC, RPT is a Licensed Mental Health Therapist. Alexa enjoys providing individual counseling and family counseling. She also provides play therapy for children, as well as teen and adolescent counseling via telehealth or in office. Alexa's practice serves the Indianapolis area, including Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield. Learn more at AlexaGTherapy.com
