If you’re an adult who freezes at emails, dreads group texts, or snaps when your partner asks “What’s for dinner?”—this might be for you. Adult PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) isn’t about being lazy or difficult. It’s a nervous system response to feeling trapped or expected. In this blog, we break down how PDA shows up at work, in relationships, and why your brain isn’t broken—it’s just trying to protect you.

If you—or your child—melt down, shut down, or panic when asked to do something simple, it may be Pervasive Demand for Autonomy (PDA). This isn’t defiance—it’s a nervous system reacting to a loss of control. Inspired by Dr. Megan Neff and Robyn Gobbel, this blog explores PDA in kids and adults, explains why it’s misunderstood, and shares tools to support safety, connection, and regulation.

When we understand motivation, we can eliminate frustration and failure. Understanding brings compassion and strategy.