I am lucky enough to be the mother of 4 children in all the ranges of development. I get it, parenting is scary on any typical Tuesday, but parenting during a pandemic can be overwhelming. Parents are paralyzed with fear about making decisions that three months ago would have been no big deal.
“Hey mom, can I go outside?” Easy! Absolutely, grab your coat!
“Mommy can Jake come over to play?” Sure if you clean your room first.
My kiddo has an earache should I take him to the pediatrician? Sure thing, call for an appointment or take them to the walk-in clinic.
But now we are trying to move forward in a global pandemic where lives are at stake due to a variety of possible illnesses due to Coronavirus. We are smart to be cautious and seek out professional opinions for guidance. It’s also completely normal to turn to friends and family for advice and opinions on how to proceed.
Many of us are members of several online parenting support groups where moms ask questions and the community often offers helpful responses. I follow some "mommy bloggers" on Insta and Twitter too and what I continually witness is evidence of mothers not trusting themselves. Moms are asking groups of strangers incredibly individual and important questions like, "Should I allow my child to go back to daycare?; Should I allow my child to play outside?; Are other people allowing their kids to see grandma and grandpa?; Should we schedule family vacations?" Moms are asking unknown community members if they are allowing their kids to play with each other so the mom can determine if she will let her own child play with others. That makes me sad. Mothers: stop outsourcing your important decisions to complete strangers!
Lady, you are the expert on your own family and I want to see you really acknowledge that. I see so many mamas have forgotten who they are. You are the mother. You have navigated the scary judgy waters of breast or bottle, co-sleep or cry it out, continue a career or be a stay at home mom. You’ve made big choices for your family before. You have the experience, and you have success.
Moms, look...take a breath, straighten your crown, and remember you are so much more capable of making the best decision for your own children than some passionately vocal mom who always has an opinion to incite responses in your group. I’m sure she is awesome and smart and great at raising her own family in her own way based on her own family values, beliefs, and needs. Those same beliefs that are aces for her kiddos may not apply to you and yours. So many factors play into how we make decisions for our children right now: immune systems, age, exposure to the elderly, our own employment needs, rural or urban location, mental wellness, and basic necessity. It's natural to want input and validation of sorts from others, so let's choose the “others” very carefully. Listen to folks you know and trust. Talk to your local experts. Ask your pediatrician and family practice doctor what they recommend for your family. Make the best-educated decisions you can for the needs of your family. Don’t cause harm to others. Trust yourself again. You’ve earned your own trust.
*Alexa Griffith, LMHC, LCAC, NCC, RPT is a licensed mental health therapist. Alexa enjoys providing individual counseling and family counseling. She also provides play therapy for children, as well as teen and adolescent counseling via telehealth or in office.
Alexa's practice serves the Indianapolis area, including Carmel, Fishers, Noblesville, Zionsville, and Westfield. Learn more at AlexaGTherapy.com
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